Buc-ee's, Missouri, Thursday Afternoon

[napking]

Gray had seen the Buc-ee's when the island had had one during that...whatever that was last fall, but he'd never gone in, and, well, he was curious.

Once he had ambled across the entire enormous parking lot and the doors of Buc-ee's opened before him, he looked around and could only say, "Holy shit." He was not sure what he had expected, but it had not been...this. All of this. So much of this. It was like some beaver-themed truck stop wonderland in here! He hadn't seen a giant cup of soda that cheap in at least a decade! And hey, what's a 'beaver nugget,' anyway?

He read the ingredients on the back of the beaver nuggets, his eyes getting steadily rounder, and went to get a basket to fill with them. Or maybe he should get a cart?

(Open Buc-ee's is open!)

Comments

[napking]

"It's a beaver," Gray informed him helpfully from where he had somehow appeared by Flint instead of over by the fudge counter. "Do you...like beavers?"

Gray. Gray, why?

[fears_no_one]

"I don't really have a strong opinion about beavers," Flint replied, absolutely not making anything better.

[napking]

So Gray stood a chance, was what he was hearing. "Oh, really?" Gray asked. "...what about their nuggets?" Gray.

[fears_no_one]

"...they have nuggets?" Flint asked, blinking.

[napking]

Gray helpfully handed him a bag of beaver nuggets. "They have nuggets, and they are beautiful." Because Buc-ee's was a special place.

[fears_no_one]

"I already regret asking this, but how do beavers make nuggets?" Flint asked.

[napking]

Gray considered explaining modern branding to Flint, but that sounded like a lot of work when he could just go with, "I've decided I don't want to know, but they must be working their little beaver fingers to the bone."

Beavers did not have fingers, and he knew that.

[fears_no_one]

"They use animal labor," Flint drawled, looking unconvinced.

[napking]

"Our town has squirrel reporters," Gray pointed out. "Also I think the raccoons make beer or something, and don't get me into whatever's going on at the clinic. Why not?"

[fears_no_one]

"The raccoons make beer," Flint repeated. Everyone on this island made Rackham seem sensible. He shook his head. "What is in a beaver nugget?"

[napking]

Gray took the package back from him, turned it over, and began reading. "Brown sugar, corn meal, corn syrup--see, with two kinds of sugar in the first three ingredients you know it has to be good. Salt, margarine, soy lecithin, whatever the hell that is, Ray would know, and good ol' natural and artificial flavors. I'm pretty sure that being made with margarine means it counts as vegan. You know, like Oreos." Two of the healthiest foods around!

[fears_no_one]

This wasn't promising. "They added flavor to food?"

Sounded suspicious, but it was better than demanding to know what a vegan was.

[napking]

"They add all sorts of things to food." Gray couldn't resist pointing out, "Back in your day they added sawdust to food." If you wanted Raiden to go on a judgey rant that was one way to trigger it.

[fears_no_one]

"Trust me, the sawdust was sometimes the best part," Flint said archly.

[napking]

"I know," Gray told him. "I spent a couple of years on a pirate ship." He sighed wistfully. "Good times."

[fears_no_one]

Flint's eyebrows rose. "You were on a pirate ship."

[napking]

"I was sleeping with the captain, so it would've been a bit inconvenient if I wasn't," Gray told him.

Apparently the time for subtlety was over.

[fears_no_one]

"And when was this?" Flint asked cautiously.

God, he hoped he didn't know the captain.

[napking]

"Oh, gods," Gray said. "Let me think. Late seventeenth century? Early eighteenth? Somewhere in there." So it was definitely possible!

[fears_no_one]

"In the West Indies or elsewhere?" Flint asked.

[napking]

"If you're looking for a performance review, then I'm sorry, but he's dead." Obviously. It was 2024. "Uh. I didn't kill him." It was actually all very tragic.

[fears_no_one]

"I wouldn't judge you if you had," Flint said with a tiny smile. "Those things happened."