Buc-ee's, Missouri, Thursday Afternoon

[napking]

Gray had seen the Buc-ee's when the island had had one during that...whatever that was last fall, but he'd never gone in, and, well, he was curious.

Once he had ambled across the entire enormous parking lot and the doors of Buc-ee's opened before him, he looked around and could only say, "Holy shit." He was not sure what he had expected, but it had not been...this. All of this. So much of this. It was like some beaver-themed truck stop wonderland in here! He hadn't seen a giant cup of soda that cheap in at least a decade! And hey, what's a 'beaver nugget,' anyway?

He read the ingredients on the back of the beaver nuggets, his eyes getting steadily rounder, and went to get a basket to fill with them. Or maybe he should get a cart?

(Open Buc-ee's is open!)

Comments

[thatwaslucky]

It wasn't like Rey had any reason to know what Buc-ee's was, and she liked seeing new places, so she stopped in, and was immediately surprised. It was so big. There was so much. So, so much.

So she was just going to wander the store (?) for now with an seed expression on her face. She better grab a basket.

[napking]

Gosh, what were the chances that in this entire enormous, possibly endless place Gray should run into someone else from the island while trying to decide between regular and sea salted caramel beaver nuggets? (Both? He was gonna get both.) He gave Rey a friendly nod tinged with just a hint of Can you believe this place?

[thatwaslucky]

"What is this place?" she asked, walking over, and then came over to see what he was looking at. "And what is this?"

It was amazing, Rey. Get twelve.

[napking]

"It's Buc-ee's," Gray said. "I'm pretty sure it's where Texans go when they die. And I'm not sure yet," because Buc-ee's was sane enough not to provide samples of the beaver nuggets, "but I'm pretty sure it's like Corn Pops on steroids." He made this sound like a good thing, because it was. A very, very good thing.

[thatwaslucky]

"There are definitely too many kinds," she decided. "I feel like I should get one. Even if the name sounds wrong."

[napking]

"Just one?" Gray asked. "I was gonna get one of each so I could decide which one is best." And then be sad that he didn't have access to more. "They have chocolate-covered ones over there," he said, gesturing toward the display of a food that was surely a sin of and unto itself.

And he wasn't even Gluttony.

...actually, Raiden was probably around here somewhere.

[thatwaslucky]

"...I need the chocolate covered ones," she said. "But- maybe also the regular? Just to know?"

This is how it starts.

[napking]

"I'm gonna check out the fudge next," Gray said, because he was a sugar gremlin. "And I don't know if you're into jerky, but they've got a whole wall of jerky." Plus an additional jerky counter, because why not?

[thatwaslucky]

"I almost want to ask why they do this to us," Rey admitted. "With the way this week is going we only have a day!"

She sighed.

"I'm going to need a cart."

[napking]

"If we stayed here any longer we'd never get Ray out of this place," Gray pointed out. "I'm a little afraid we'll accidentally leave him here. I'm sort of pinning my hopes on the Waffle House." Because hash browns.

[thatwaslucky]

"I would think that would work. They have food here, but it's not Waffle House."

Said by someone who legitimately thought the food was great and not a heart attack on a plate.

[napking]

"They do have a ritual chant about brisket, though."

Gray was a little weirded out by it, to be honest.

[thatwaslucky]

Rey blinked. "I'm sorry, they what?"

[napking]

"Oh, yeah," Gray said as he added another bag of sea salt caramel beaver nuggets to his cart. "It's...it's a thing. Apparently they really want everyone to know when the brisket is fresh?"

[thatwaslucky]

"I actually want to see that," she said. "Though I'll probably still be here shopping when they do it."

Rey didn't shop! She was cheap! So cheap!

[fears_no_one]

"Is that a giant goddamn badger in front of this store?" Flint demanded to the world at large, stalking in.

[napking]

"It's a beaver," Gray informed him helpfully from where he had somehow appeared by Flint instead of over by the fudge counter. "Do you...like beavers?"

Gray. Gray, why?

[fears_no_one]

"I don't really have a strong opinion about beavers," Flint replied, absolutely not making anything better.

[napking]

So Gray stood a chance, was what he was hearing. "Oh, really?" Gray asked. "...what about their nuggets?" Gray.

[fears_no_one]

"...they have nuggets?" Flint asked, blinking.

[napking]

Gray helpfully handed him a bag of beaver nuggets. "They have nuggets, and they are beautiful." Because Buc-ee's was a special place.

[fears_no_one]

"I already regret asking this, but how do beavers make nuggets?" Flint asked.

[napking]

Gray considered explaining modern branding to Flint, but that sounded like a lot of work when he could just go with, "I've decided I don't want to know, but they must be working their little beaver fingers to the bone."

Beavers did not have fingers, and he knew that.

[fears_no_one]

"They use animal labor," Flint drawled, looking unconvinced.

[napking]

"Our town has squirrel reporters," Gray pointed out. "Also I think the raccoons make beer or something, and don't get me into whatever's going on at the clinic. Why not?"

[fears_no_one]

"The raccoons make beer," Flint repeated. Everyone on this island made Rackham seem sensible. He shook his head. "What is in a beaver nugget?"

[napking]

Gray took the package back from him, turned it over, and began reading. "Brown sugar, corn meal, corn syrup--see, with two kinds of sugar in the first three ingredients you know it has to be good. Salt, margarine, soy lecithin, whatever the hell that is, Ray would know, and good ol' natural and artificial flavors. I'm pretty sure that being made with margarine means it counts as vegan. You know, like Oreos." Two of the healthiest foods around!

[fears_no_one]

This wasn't promising. "They added flavor to food?"

Sounded suspicious, but it was better than demanding to know what a vegan was.

[napking]

"They add all sorts of things to food." Gray couldn't resist pointing out, "Back in your day they added sawdust to food." If you wanted Raiden to go on a judgey rant that was one way to trigger it.

[fears_no_one]

"Trust me, the sawdust was sometimes the best part," Flint said archly.

[napking]

"I know," Gray told him. "I spent a couple of years on a pirate ship." He sighed wistfully. "Good times."

[fears_no_one]

Flint's eyebrows rose. "You were on a pirate ship."

[napking]

"I was sleeping with the captain, so it would've been a bit inconvenient if I wasn't," Gray told him.

Apparently the time for subtlety was over.

[fears_no_one]

"And when was this?" Flint asked cautiously.

God, he hoped he didn't know the captain.

[napking]

"Oh, gods," Gray said. "Let me think. Late seventeenth century? Early eighteenth? Somewhere in there." So it was definitely possible!

[fears_no_one]

"In the West Indies or elsewhere?" Flint asked.

[napking]

"If you're looking for a performance review, then I'm sorry, but he's dead." Obviously. It was 2024. "Uh. I didn't kill him." It was actually all very tragic.

[fears_no_one]

"I wouldn't judge you if you had," Flint said with a tiny smile. "Those things happened."